Black. Lesbian. Writer.

I didn’t want to be here. Every look I gave her expressed my distaste for the company that surrounded us. I wanted to be at home watching the game, not surrounded by a group of bourgeoisie lesbians that didn’t care if I stopped breathing tomorrow.

I was here because I’d do anything to keep a smile on my baby’s face, but I didn’t have to like it.

My reward? She wore a dress. Something she rarely did.

This dress was strapless and bright yellow. It made her medium brown skin look as though it was glowing. And the way the … *Read the rest

I met this girl once and within a week, I knew her life story. I knew she felt rejected by her mom. Inadequate with women. Blocked as an artist. She talked and talked, telling me long stories of betrayal, heartbreak and pain. She told me how she felt so comfortable revealing so much of herself to me. I was flattered…

Until I saw her tipsy at a party. She was surrounded by a circle of people and she told them the very same stories she told me.

She had been told by friends not to reveal too much of herself, … *Read the rest

“What was the big fucking deal?” I looked at the source of this morning’s drama. Jay’s favorite black hoodie. “Ok, so maybe it is a little small…” I had washed the hoodie for the first time in months. I was tired of seeing its dinginess and smelling its funk. I dropped it in the washer, not realizing the temperature was set to hot. I then popped it in the dryer, hoping to lay it back in its corner before she noticed. Originally a men’s small, now it was more like a women’s extra small.

Jay blew up as if this … *Read the rest

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results -Albert Einstein

I was talking to my brother about relationships and women. Two of our favorite topics. Actually one topic if you think about it. You can’t have one without the other…

I’m looking back on my past relationships and I’m hoping there is a better outcome in my future. In order to get a better outcome, I must do something different right?

Do someting different. It sounds so simple… But romance is not a math problem. I can’t look at step 3 and add instead of … *Read the rest

I often compare the women I attract to baby birds with broken wings. I am a magnet for girls that need a bit of nurturing. Maybe they have a severely broken heart. Maybe they are jobless. Maybe they are homeless. Maybe they are esteemless (yes, I just made up my own word. shoot me).

I know how to help them get back in the sky again. I’m a natural nurturer. I know what to say and what to do to make a woman feel whole. I’m good at ego stroking. I can be supportive. I can help build you up.… *Read the rest

There is a girl in my life. The kinda girl I’ve dreamed of. Gorgeous. Caring. Creative. Considerate. I could keep going forever.

Let’s call her Tea. That’s how I describe the color of her eyes…

We spend a lot of time together. Days at a time. When we aren’t together, I miss her. We spend hours on the phone as a substitute.

When we’re together, we have the most random conversations. Anything could come up. We get each other. The weird stuff. The nerdy stuff. The silly stuff. The sad stuff. All of it.

And when we’re not talking, the … *Read the rest

Monday, June 21

I rolled over at 4:48am. I checked the time on my phone. Her text message said: Got n 2 an accident in the hospital right now. Car fucked and my head bleeding.

4:49am- I called her. Her speech was slurred. Had she been drinking? Yes, she has. Her car is through a fence, but there wasn’t another car involved. And she’s talking and texting. But her head is bloody. Her hand is full of blood. How the fuck did that happen. Her mom didn’t answer the phone when she called. Her brother was on his way. “I’m … *Read the rest