Black. Lesbian. Writer.

The first time I saw her she came out of the train station and walked by me down the street. I noticed the Chucks she wore with pin-striped trousers, a button down blue shirt with a white collar, and a messenger bag. Her long straight, blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail hanging down her back.

I took one look at her and categorized her as gay. She didn’t have an extra switch in her hip. In fact, she sauntered more than sashay. There was something masculine about how she handled herself, even though she didn’t look like a stud/butch. … *Read the rest

I was having this conversation with a co-worker about her life. She described what her life was like growing up in India and having her marriage arranged. She joked that her biggest sticking point with her parents was that her future husband needed to be someone that would not stay in India. She was adamant that she would never return there to live. When I asked why, she said she didn’t fit in. She described an Indian woman as being submissive and this woman is anything, but submissive. She’s a firecracker! I find it quite funny that she refers to … *Read the rest

There is this little man that lives a few houses down from me. I’ve seen him a few times standing outside his house. He always makes an effort to flirt and I always politely decline without really explaining to him that I’ve got a girlfriend.

Last night, we got off the bus together. I hadn’t seen him even on the bus, but as soon as we stepped off, I cursed this coincidence. I slowed down in hopes that he would continue on his way, but it seemed as though he was slowing down too. He’s the kind of guy that … *Read the rest

If I said I loved every girl I’d ever had sex with, I’d be struck by lightning. If I said I liked every girl I shared a bed with, I’d get struck a second time.

I can admit it, I had some whorish tendencies. Shrug. It was what it was. I never lied to them or to myself about what we were doing.

The problem with a lot of lesbian relationships is that…well…They are Defined as relationships. We confuse lust with love.

Now in all of my wisdom, I can say that you shouldn’t lay down with a woman you … *Read the rest

I remember hearing a tale from a “boi” about how a certain female repeatedly did things that had always previously been her role. A simple example was opening doors…

If there had been any type of sexual attention there, it would have fizzled at the so called acts of emasculation the girl continued to execute.

Emasculation:
1. to castrate.
2. to deprive of strength or vigor; weaken.
3. deprived of or lacking strength or vigor; effeminate.

So we’ll ignore the first definition, but the other two… It’s possible, right?

I remember very early on in my dealings with my first, … *Read the rest

What I need to know is this how do you handle going from being a girlfriend to being just a friend and keep your dignity intact (even though on some level you feel you have lost respect for yourself)?

I must make this absolutely clear, every relationship does not have to end with friendship! I don’t know who altered the lesbian handbook to say that this was a requirement. There are so many of us that keep hurting ourselves because we’re trying to be friends with the bitch our former dream girl.

Stop it!

If being friends with her makes … *Read the rest

There are no roles in our relationship. She doesn’t hold strong to the stud label and y’all know how I feel about being called a femme…but she is more boi than I and I more femme than she.

There are basic human needs that stretch beyond gender roles or identities. Subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, leisure, creation, identity and freedom. Don’t believe me? Google it!!

It is easy to forget that your boifriend wants to feel protected. When she scoots you away from curb of the sidewalk (away from traffic) that doesn’t mean the need to feel protected doesn’t exist. … *Read the rest