Black. Lesbian. Writer.

My first real boyfriend said something to me once, something that he learned from his father about relationships. He said never to start doing something for someone that you didn’t intend to keep doing.

Makes sense right? If you display certain behaviors during your courtship, it makes sense that someone would expect those same behaviors to continue through the course of your relationship.

It make sense, but how often do we forget that? I know I’ve forgotten over and over again. We have to keep doing the things we did to get our lover to keep them as our lover.… *Read the rest

Revisiting some of these older blogs and relating them to how I feel now wasn’t my plan when I found these old posts, but it’s working for me, so I’m gonna go with it…Maybe yall didn’t even realize that yesterday’s post was written almost a year ago…

I had a conversation with the Lil Monkey one day when I said to her almost the exact same words I used in the Love Without Expectations post. I told her that I didn’t know what it meant when someone says I love you back.

It was rather emotional for me, I’m sure … *Read the rest

Original Post Date: June 2, 2009

I stepped away from writing about anything that felt too personal, for a variety of different reasons (none of them relevant to this post). I was then reminded I started this blog to get the personal stuff out so that I can go on and deal with life, so here we go…

Falling in love has never seemed to be a problem for me. I relish the feeling, the excitement of loving someone new. You see sunshine when it storms, you see light in shadows. It’s a permant state of euphoria. The highest high. … *Read the rest

Tonya: So this has to be just a wee bit difficult…especially when you want to scream from the rooftops that there are TWO SIDES to every story!! I’m assuming we’ll get yours….

When I think of HER, I remember some fun times in combination with a lot of really sad ones. The sad times were not necessarily because of her, but her presence in my life didn’t make those times any easier, if anything having her around exacerbated the situation.

From the beginning, we had fun together…Though I thought she was gorgeous, she was so femme that I didn’t immediately … *Read the rest

Back to her blog…

I read the entries now and I see that the entries are rearranged. The chronology is completely off. I assume that might have something to do with the new chick/wife. Anyway, here are a few things she’s written about me, in the order they appear on her blog:

“Today someone I love shared with me that she wants someone to hold her hand when times get hard and give up a little ass along the way. Basically, she needs safety, stability and security. I heard her before, but I missed it based on my own my … *Read the rest

The biggest consequence of dating a writer is that they will probably end up writing about you. You may find a character that reminds you of yourself, or a situation might sound like something you went through. Now if you get mixed up with a blogger, that’s an entirely different story…

One of my exes is a blogger. I visited her blog recently. I don’t know why because this woman single handedly destroyed my self esteem. It is my intention to discuss the words she’s written about me, but I feel that I need to give a little bit of … *Read the rest