Black. Lesbian. Writer.

It’s raining today. I’d like to believe the city it mirroring my mourning. Today marks a year since Mama passed. A year of holidays without her. A year of not hearing her voice, smelling her, embracing her.

The sadness doesn’t ease up. I miss her just as much today as I did a year ago. Only then I had hope that this feeling would pass. Now I know better.

If I could speak to her, I would ask her if she had any regrets about how she lead her life. Mama’s life wasn’t easy. She constantly sacrificed for those she … *Read the rest

All it takes is for one person to die for you to become sensitive to death. This person doesn’t have to be blood. They don’t have to be your best friend. If they were important to you, influenced you in any way, were a regular part of your life at any stage of your life, their passing will be relived every time you hear the word death.

Death surrounds me. From recent passings of celebrities to the approaching anniversary of Mama’s death, my spirit is a bit dark and more than a little heavy. I find myself close to tears … *Read the rest

It’s 2012. What does that mean to you?

I wonder why people (including myself) allow a calendar change to motivate self improvement. Is there something magical about the date having so many ones and zeros that will make it any easier for us to stick to our resolutions? I think there is something magical about the date that inspires us. Is that what it is?

Making resolutions is something we all do, even if we don’t vocalize it, blog about it, or post it on facebook. We make private resolutions, promises to ourselves to develop better habits or to make … *Read the rest

The word BLOG!was left on my Facebook wall. Jewel, you asked for it…

I’ve been quiet lately or should I say my mouth has been more still. My mind has been active, screaming words, reflections.

This time last year I was trying to absorb an carve everything about Mama so my memories would always be fresh. I was trying to cope with her last days and prepare myself for the future. I realize now that you just can’t prepare yourself for a life without a parent. You just completely underestimate how much you need them, even after you think … *Read the rest

I bought a dress this weekend. It’s brightly colored and strapless. I loved it on sight, but my first thought was, where am I going to wear this?

I’m in a rut. I have no dress code at work, so it’s easy to develop a uniform of jeans and a tee. Since I go to work more than I go anywhere else, it’s easy for me to leave something on the rack that’s obviously inappropriate for the office…

But what about all of the other thousands of options that aren’t a strapless dress?

I’ve gotten so comfortable in my self … *Read the rest

Death is probably the biggest reminder of how short our time on Earth is. At Mama’s ceremony, there were so many people there to mourn her passing…

I found it interesting to see her ex-husband and her last boyfriend consoling each other. Her ex-crackhead wasn’t present, but that’s another story.

Mama wasn’t a person that held grudges. She did learn from her mistakes though (even if it took her longer than the average person). She was the definition of hardheaded. Her biggest fault was the faith she put in others to do the right thing.

After watching them do the … *Read the rest

I used to love him. Now, I love her.

I used to have really long straight hair. Now, I rock a really big natural.

I used to care what others thought. Now, I don’t give a shit.

I used to get caught up in the physical. Now, I focus on hearts and minds.

I used to be really impatient. Now, I’m still really impatient.

I used to want 3 kids. Now, I’d be happy with one.

I used to believe I had forever. Now, I know life is a limited time offer.

I used to date a lot of women. … *Read the rest