Jun.30.2010 at 9:45 am | Alix B. Golden
Closing An Open Book
I met this girl once and within a week, I knew her life story. I knew she felt rejected by her mom. Inadequate with women. Blocked as an artist. She talked and talked, telling me long stories of betrayal, heartbreak and pain. She told me how she felt so comfortable revealing so much of herself to me. I was flattered…
Until I saw her tipsy at a party. She was surrounded by a circle of people and she told them the very same stories she told me.
She had been told by friends not to reveal too much of herself, but she didn’t listen. Maybe she should have…
open book- (n) something or somebody easily comprehensible: somebody or something that is very easy to understand or about which everything is known
Everyone isn’t worthy of knowing every crevice of you. Not only are they not worthy, but they may not understand all of your idiosyncrasies. And why should they? A person new to your life won’t understand why you are the way you are. You have to give them the opportunity to learn you. Your motivations, your desires, your fears. This new person should be continuously adding a new page to the book of You. Give them the entire book and they might not be prepared for the ending.
Be a little bit pickier about what pages are available to be read. A person must know that you are willing to be open with them to keep them interested. Who wants to read a book when someone is holding a few hundred pages hostage? I don’t.
How open is your book?
This is such a good post and something worth really thinking about.
I actually think I have the opposite problem — I don’t reveal enough and that frustrates people because they feel like they don’t know me, or worse, they wake up one day and realize they thought they knew me well but don’t.
It’s a wall I’m working on.
Let’s knock it down…Well not all the way…
Yes yes yes…We mustn’t divulge too much in the beginning. It scares people away big time. It’s like being fed, while your body is still trying to digest the previous meal. Everything is a process. One should allow others to figure them out along the way…Great read!
Thank you, Seven.
Come back to visit again soon…
my problem is not revealing enough and then folks get frustrated. i have so many walls and defences….and it takes a hell of alot to get inside them. to call me tight-lipped would be a severe understatement. i’m working on it.
How do you work on something like that?
Thank you for stopping in!
Good question, and one that I consider all too often.
You can show and tell as much as your soul will allow, and still be a closed book. It depends on what you’re most open about. If it’s emotionless baggage, you won’t hold my attention long. If there is substance to be found within, I’d much rather accept that, and become a willing participant in the new stories that are sure to unfold, and then added to the collection of this most precious thing we call life.
My book is not very open, This part of life is tough for me, my walls up & very high!!! I may eventually open up but never totally. I hate feeling vulnerable, my answers to questions are usually very vague! Working on expressing & revealing myself a bit more…but it’s never casual!