a baby story: part iii

Oct.16.2008 at 12:38 am | Alix B. Golden

I thought things had calmed down when I started seeing my ex again. Things were so smooth between us. We were getting along better than we had while we had been together…

…then my roomie told me Cali had called her to see if she could move in. I contacted her and told her that I thought it was a bad idea. She insisted that she wouldn’t be moving for me. She said she’d be on her hustle. I could just see her blocking me in whatever romantic situations came up.

I gave her my reasons. I put a lot of emphasis on her going in the Army. I didn’t think she’d do it if she came to Atlanta. She needed structure. She needed maturity. She needed to be independent. She wouldn’t grow if she came to Atlanta.

We had a conversation about it. And somehow we ended up talking every night again. Until the day came when she told me she idolized me and looked up to me like I was her role model. Schreeeech! That was the sound of my libido coming to a halt. I told her that was something my little sister would say to me. She didn’t appreciate being compared to my sister. If I put her in a sisterly role, I could never be in a relationship with her. I told her again that we wouldn’t work.

We kept in contact. She told me when she was leaving for basic training. I was surprised she was actually going. I had my doubts about her making it through.

My ex and I got back together. She asked to come visit before she left. I told her that I didn’t think it was a good idea because I had a girlfriend. She stopped communicating with me.

I found my thoughts straying to her. With each obstacle with my girl, I found myself missing her. I sent her a few messages on myspace letting her know she was in my thoughts. I knew that she wouldn’t get them until after she was done with basic, but it was important to me that she know that I cared…I don’t know why it was so important though. At that time, I had no intentions of resuming our little love affair.

My girl and I broke up. It’s a long story that I’m sure I’ll write about one day, but it would severely tarnish the innocence of this story if I revealed the dirty details now…I digress…

I saw her light blinking on myspace and almost fell out. I immediately sent her a note and found my heart racing until I got a response. I gave her my new number and she started texting me.